Army Wives: Deployment Do?s and Don?ts

Army Wives on Lifetime is in its sixth season and has been the network?s most successful television series. The show is based on a book authored by Tanya Biank, also called ?Army Wives?, and follows the challenges, hopes and daily lives of a group of women and one man who live with their families on an Army Post. If you have missed this series but want to see what it?s all about, you can find all episodes from season?s one through five currently available on Netflix.com, or watch for Lifetime?s Army Wives marathons which they run from time to time. Is there anything we can learn from the show for real-life army wives and family life? Maybe ? but here are some practical do?s and don?ts for army wives:

Deployment Don?ts for Army Wives

Saying goodbye to your spouse is never going to be easy, no matter how many times he deploys during your marriage. There are a few things you should not do in order to help the process go more smoothly:

Do NOT get angry: most men in the military are following their calling to protect their country. Getting angry at your husband for deploying doesn?t change anything, and will likely result in you spending your last days leading up to deployment arguing and unhappy. Deployment is part of the military job description for many people, and being proud of your husband for the work he?s doing is part of the military wife description.

Do NOT make a to-do list: sure, there are probably many things around your home that you want fixed or improved to make your life easier while your husband is deployed. Making him a list of things to do before he goes is not a good idea. When you know deployment is approaching, simply enjoy your time together. Everything else can wait until he returns, or if you want to be an even more amazing army wife ? figure out how to take care of it while he?s gone.

Do NOT beg him to stay: deployment is not something the military can choose not to do. Maybe an extremely high ranking officer has options, but for the majority of people with military careers ? deployment is an order that has to be followed. When you beg your husband not to leave, you simply make it even harder for him to do what he has to do, and it can cause resentment or additional strain between the two of you. He knows you don?t want him to leave; he likely doesn?t want to leave you either ? but you knew what you were getting into when you married a military man or when he enlisted after you were married, so it?s better to accept it.

Deployment Do?s for Army Wives

As soon as you know your spouse will be deployed, your mind is probably racing with everything that will need to be done before he heads out. While there are many things you do need to take care of, don?t forget the most important thing to do before deployment is enjoy time with your spouse. Here are some other things you probably do need to take care of before deployment:

Wills and Power of Attorney: no one wants to think about needing a will or a power of attorney, but you should create these documents before deployment. As the power of attorney, you can access credit cards and bank accounts held in your husband?s name during deployment and to make decisions on your spouse?s behalf which will be necessary when you can?t communicate with him. The will ensures you and your spouse can make all the decisions if necessary.

Family Finances: everyone handles their family finances differently and you may have all financial accounts in both of your names or you may have several individual accounts held in just your husband?s name. For accounts in your husband?s name only, the power of attorney document will give you access to them but will take a lot of time and so you may want to call each company before hand and make sure they know they can speak to you regarding any matters pertaining to the account. It should help expedite the process so that after your husband is deployed you will have access to everything you need when you need it.

Enroll in DEERS: you will want to register for the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS) as it is the only way to receive TRICARE benefits. If you were enrolled previously, double check that the information is accurate.

Consider a myPay account: myPay will give you access to earning statements, leave, and W2s for year-end tax filing. You can set it up online.

Not yet an army wife, but have a husband interested in joining the military ? or maybe you?re interested? Fill out this form to get more information about enlisting in the military.