It is one of the challenges when considering the idea of marriage either as someone serving in the military or marrying somebody who is. If you find yourself in those circumstances you might already have certain expectations about it. Then again, you might not have any idea what to expect when you married as a member of the armed forces. Since you want to have the best chance at happy marriage no matter your circumstances, whether you are becoming one of the many military wives or husbands, or you are serving in the armed forces and have a spouse – you could benefit from a brief overview of what is involved. Keep reading to find out more.
A Different World For Military Marriages
I you are already in the military yourself then you know how different that kind of life is from that of civilians. You signed your life over to the service and your duty will take first place even over the wishes of your spouse. Remember that well. Similarly, if you have or are going to marry a member of the military, and join the ranks of military wives or husbands, keep in mind that their job will come first and they will not always get to do what they want. For instance, if they are deployed, you can expect long absences.
If you are a soldier, you need to be patient with your spouse as they adjust. The rules, regulations, and the even the terminology you use may seem alien at first. It pays greatly for both partners to be ready for a period of transition. Even the opportunity to marry at all might be determined by a commanding officer before anybody can get married.
It takes a certain amount of determination and courage to be married and in the military since different assignments will lead to a change in living accommodations through service. If you want to have a family, then you have to consider the impact on any children as well. The life is not for everybody so that is something very important to consider before you say ‘I do.’
The long absences and time apart often spell disaster for military marriages. The shear amount of time away from one another can cause some couples to drift apart. Infidelity becomes an uncomfortable reality and divorces can be just as common as they are in civilian marriages. In cases where the woman is serving and the husband is a civilian, the rates of divorces can be even higher. Men are less likely to deal with their stress and concerns than women, which may lead to a breakdown in communication and, with time, dissolution of the marriage.
Military Marriages are Not All Negative
While it is true there are concerns that have been noted, it doesn’t mean that there aren’t positive things about marriage and the military. Some couples find the variety of living conditions and exposure to different cultures and ethnic groups enriching. Military families may have broader understanding of the world’s different views than civilian households. Marriage as a soldier or marriage to one can open up so much of the world’s wonders–a fact that helps counterbalance the pressures and fears that come into play when one or both spouses are put in danger defending the country.
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